Hard Learned Lessons.

Some things you just have to learn on your own...Why???

When I was younger, I mowed lawns for my money. I had an old pushmower that could only be shut off by un-hooking the spark plug. My dad told me, with a grin, that I could shut off the motor by pissin' on it. I thought that was just the dumbest thing I had ever heard.
Sure enough, about a week later I was just finishing cuttin' Mrs. Fosters yard, and was out of sight behind a storage shed. I had to pee awful bad, and I thought "I'll give it shot." Let me save you a lot of pain and discomfort by just telling you.... DON'T PEE ON THE SPARK PLUG OF A RUNNING LAWN MOWER!!! Of course back then I didn't think to spread my hard earned wisdom. Instead, I told my little brother he could shut off the lawn mower engine by peeing on the spark plug....

Now that I'm older, and a little more mellowed with age, I think I'm just going to share my hard learned lessons with folks, when I think they need it. You know? Use my knowledge for good, and the betterment of mankind.

Here's a couple things...

If you see someone passed out drunk, roll'em over on their belly, that way they don't choke on their own vomit. Again, DON'T pee on sparkplugs, or electric fences. THAT'S IMPORTANT. Don't pick at it or it will never heal, my mama always told me that. Tanning beds are HOTTER than the sun. Never, and I mean never ever, shave your nether regions.

I hope some of this helps, and I hope some of you will decide to share your wisdom too. Although, to be fair, when my litttle brother pissed on that lawn mower...

I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!!