THE LATEST NEWS...

Well, I was checking out some of the latest news on the World Wide Web of misinformation, and a few things just jumped out at me....

Researchers have found that plants actually talk to each other to spread information. So you are not just imagining that little voice coming from your plant saying "smoke me, smoke me"?

"Esquire" magazine has named Charlize Theron the "Sexiest Woman Alive". In other words, "Esquire" magazine still doesn't know that everyone who reads it is gay.

Chrysler autoworkers walked off the job because the automaker has failed to provide a new contract. And also medical proof that assembling PT Cruisers doesn't make them gay. (???)

Beer companies Coors and Miller have announced they are merging. Coors Light and Miller Lite coming together? Finally, a reason for Hollister-wearing frat boys and short, cowboy Mexicans to put aside their differences.

Groups are making a push to have the drinking age lowered to 18. . . . Because if you're old enough to fight and die for your country, then you're old enough to wake up next to a chubby girl you don't know.

German researchers claim that chimpanzees make more rational choices than human beings . For instance. . . chimps don't marry.

The Rubik's Cube World Championships took place in Budapest last weekend. And before you start making fun of these virginal dorks and their puzzle games, keep in mind that you're the one that has NO idea where Budapest is.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon married last weekend on the Las Vegas Strip. . .
. . . Salomon is best known for making a sex-tape with Paris Hilton and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty. Anderson is best known for making a sex-tape with Tommy Lee and was previously married to singer Kid Rock.
. . . The couple is registered at the Centers for Disease Control.