PetSmart???, or PetDumb???

Petsmart???

I don't think they're very smart at all.

Let me start by explaining that my best good friend is a dog...Cletus the WonderBeagle. The more people I get to know, the more I love my dog. One of his favorite things is ridin' in my truck, or I should say me drivin' him around in "his" truck.

Well, we got us one of them "PetSmart" stores here where we live. They say come on in, and bring your pets with you. I think to myself, "that's great". Now Cletus and I went through obedience training, he got his good canine citizenship certificate, and he loves walking on the leash, So off we go to PetSmart.

We pull up in to the store parking lot, and he sees people with their dogs and starts gettin' excited. We get out of the truck and he associates with a couple of the other dogs and all is going well. I let him burn off some of his excitement in the parking lot by lettin' him play with this friendly little spaniel named Daisy. Once he calmed a bit we went on into the store.
Things was goin' great. They have one of these "treat bars", kind of like a salad bar, but it's dog treats. We got a little sack full and went on about our business.

This really was fun. Shopping with my best good friend. I figured this might be something we can do together every weekend.

It was goin' really good until we made a turn onto the food aisle. That's where we ran into some dumbass holding two leashes, and on the end of each leash was a... Ferret.

That's when instinct kicked in. He didn't want to eat them, he just wanted to kill them.

It was the biggest, loudest commotion you ever heard in all your life. Ferret man was screamin', some old lady that was there started screamin', kids was cryin', fur and spit was flyin'. Then somebody called the cops. Being they were already near by, they got there in seconds.

I spent $300 on ferrets that day.

Me and Cletus both, have now been banned from PetSmart for life.

A STUCK DILDO, AND MY SIDE OF THE STORY.

A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency" appointment.
The receptionist said to come right in. She rushed to the office, and was ushered right into an examination room.
The doctor came into the exam room and asked about her problem. She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina.
So the doctor started to examine her.
He stuck up his head after completing his examination. "I'm sorry, Miss," he said, "but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy , delicate and expensive surgical operation."
"I'm not sure I can afford it," sighed the young woman. "But while I am here could you just replace the batteries?

(FANTASTIC!!! THIS JOKE WAS GOING AROUND THE STATION THE OTHER DAY, AND ALL OF THE WOMEN LOVED IT??? THEN, EVERYONE GOT TO TALKIN' ABOUT...UM...LETS SAY "MECHANICAL EQUIPMENT". SOME OF THE YOUNGER GUYS GOT TO TALKIN' ABOUT HOW THEY WOULDN'T LIKE THEIR WIVES AND/OR GIRLFRIENDS KEEPIN'...UM...TOOLS. FOR THE RECORD, I SAY BETTER LIVING THROUGH TECHNOLOGY!!! I MEAN I'M 40 YEARS OLD, AND JUST ABOUT GIVE OUT... WORKED HARD, PLAYED HARD, FOUGHT MORE MEN, AND FOOLED WITH MORE WOMEN, THAN MOST OF THE GUYS IN THIS BUILDING. I NEED A BREAK. DAMN SKIPPY, I'LL BUY THE BATTERIES. I'M TIRED... DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M ALL MAN!!! I HAVEN'T HAD TO GET THE LITTLE BLUE PILLS OR NOTHING LIKE THAT, YET. LET ME PUT IT LIKE THIS, A PROFESSIONAL BOXER IS AN AWESOME ATHLETE, AND A PROFESSIONAL ROUND OF BOXING LAST 3 MINUTES...AND I'VE SEEN SOME BADASS DUDES GET KNOCKED THE HELL OUT IN THE FIRST ROUND!!! 3 MINUTES!!! BESIDES, IF IT TAKES MORE THAN 15 MINUTES, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. SOME GUYS MAY BE INTIMIDATED BY THE MACHINERY, BUT MY DAD ONCE TOLD ME WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER, AND THERE'S A TOOL FOR EVERY JOB... HE WAS RIGHT.)

Pissed at Lee Greenwood

LEE GREENWOOD CANCELED A CONCERT HONORING VETERANS, POLICE AND FIREFIGHTERS BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE PROMOTERS SHORTED HIM:

LEE GREENWOOD, who makes a good living trotting out his song "God Bless the U.S.A." at patriotic events, refused to take the stage at a concert last Saturday in Denver honoring veterans, police and firefighters. . . because he wasn't FULLY paid in advance.

Greenwood was promised $20,000 to headline a concert following the Colorado State Parade of Honor. His overpriced manager claims the organizers paid half in advance, and then on the day of the show, offered only $2,000 in cash, and a $2,000 check.

The concert organizers have a different story. They claim to have wired $14,000 in advance, and on the day of the show offered $4,000 in cash, plus a $2,000 check written by the Knights of Columbus, one of the parade sponsors.

Both sides say that the road manager refused to accept a personal check. . . (--whatever the amount). . . and that's when the show was canceled.

Greenwood's manager gave this lame explanation, quote, "In (Lee Greenwood's) eyes, it's no slam or anything against veterans or policemen or firemen or any of those people. It's just a business arrangement, and somebody didn't uphold their end of the bargain."
(TCS)


(Kiss my ass, Lee Greenwood. I Love the ONE song you are known for, but you can't have it both ways. You can't cash in on your "patriotism" and then blow off the very people you sing about because of a few thousand dollars. If you were really patriotic you would've put your ego aside and done the show. Hypocrite.)