WHAT IF SANTA WAS A RAPPER???

WHAT IF SANTA WAS A RAPPER???
(We're all accustomed to thinking of Santa as an old, fat, white guy. But I got a "Christmas Rap" as the song on my MySpace profile and it got me to thinkin'...what would happen if Santa had more of an urban flavor? Check out the . . .)

TOP THINGS YOU'D SEE IF SANTA WAS A RAPPER

He almost misses Christmas because he's out behind the workshop shooting dice with the elves.

All Christmas specials include at least one unplanned pregnancy.

Every time he says "Ho, ho, ho", three hoochies come up and start grinding against him.

Goodbye, festive red outfit . . . hello tracksuit.

Numerous arrests related to his beef with the Easter Bunny.

He's always late delivering gifts because his sleigh always gets pulled over by the cops.

Despite being 250 pounds overweight, he actually thinks he looks tough without his shirt on.

It takes him longer to deliver toys because he has to stop at a baby momma's house in every town.

He lies and says he's from the most dangerous neighborhood in the North Pole so white kids will think he's dangerous and buy his records.

Hours after he's delivered presents, his posse is still hanging out in your living room, trying to get with all the Santa groupies.

Excited kids can see him coming for miles, thanks to the moonlight reflecting off his sleigh's 20-inch rims.

When he flies over New Orleans, he won't stop shouting about how George W. Bush hates black people.

Half of the world's children he delivers to, are his own.


Yall feel free to add to the list......

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!